Once again, apologies for the tardiness.
I can safely say that vaccines do indeed, work and that so far, despite fates best efforts to cut my life short – so far it has failed! So, yay me .. I guess.
Anyway, moving on. I’m hitting that time of year where everyone has hit the gym again, people are working and being overall useful human beings… And I’m here wondering what wonderful thing to expect next with my body.
Now don’t get me wrong, as you all know; I’m not a whinger. But.
Being weak at the knees and swooning often is romantic for a damsel in distress awaiting her knight in tin foil armour. But when you’re the big 4…0… This year, it wears quite thin. And whilst we’re on this topic, to update you all:
Legs = weak… Neck = weak… Shoulders = painful and weak… Hands = wasted and weak… Blah blah blah… Usual usual usual…
I keep forgetting that I am meant to have a reasonable excuse for my inability to be useful, it’s deeply frustrating and weighs heavily.
I am very grateful for the time I have been given, considering that in July I reach the milestone that would likely not have been. I do confess however, I did think life would be different at 40. I have achieved little since the diagnosis that I wanted to, I realise it’s due to the pandemic, but I still feel cheated by it.
I still wrestle with the notion of being alone. Not for any weird morbid reasons, no, more… Erm.. you know when you just wanna be alone with your thoughts? Or just go somewhere to do something on my own. But I always struggle with if it’s selfish to do it? I feel I need to include family and friends in these things..
It’s difficult, most people think it’s weird, some selfish, some worry about the mental health implications of wanting to be alone (which I don’t get with me) anyway. Slight weirdness out the way now.
I did manage to change my trainset layout – boring I know. And I’m sure you’ll all be thrilled to know I shall share pics and vids soon. But please tell me if you’d rather not. I don’t wanna be THAT guy.
I’ve gone on long enough.
If you find yourself wondering what it must be like to slowly waste away losing mobility and other useful everyday things, it sucks. But be grateful for what you do have. Family and good close friends are an absolute cornerstone of survival. Without them, life comes crashing down – illness or not.
As always, you know the rules: don’t be a dick!
my mnd shuffle 